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WWF/E SmackDown! - August 8, 2002

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The belated SD Thoughts - because UPN9 prefers to play a Jets/Steelers game. Oh, well.

I'm not sure how many of you seen, but did you happen to check out the hole in Chris Kanyon's shoulder? Ew.

Well we start out this show with an interesting video montage of Hogan's legacy and Brock's... being Brock. "He is the Next Big Thing. He is Brock Lesnar." He is a Bread Sandwich.

All Year Angle v. Sting Jr. (w/ today's color: Carolina Blue)
- I think they're attempting to turn Angle face. They have their work cut out for them. For one - "You Suck" singalong has to go.
- Hey, Cena got himself a sign.
- DX sign. So 1998.
- Angle is so awesome at telling a story in the ring. Bailing out of the ring and then kicking the ropes in frustration while bitching to the ref because this upstart rookie in powder blue tights keeps getting the better of him. Just awesome.
- Cole: "Off the steel ch-... stairs goes John Cena." 0.3 Cole. Only because he caught himself. Neat (over?)sell by Cena though.
- Is the word "suplex" not in Cole's vocabulary? Better yet, does this question even need to be asked?
- Sign: "Richmond Says Piss Off Bischoff". Cute.
- Crowd: "Angle sucks!" Kawshen: "No he doesn't!"
- Angle hits the two German Suplexes but Cena blocks the third (boo) which ends up in a DDT. I don't like that sequence really but hey.
- Cena countered that Anklelock a bit too easily for my liking there. Besides he never made the funny face he made when he was trapped in the Walls. If someone has a screen of that, please do display it.
- Even though he struggled a bit, Cena busted out a pretty cool tilt-a-whirl there.
- COOL SPOT: Kurt's outside and climbs one rope. Cena dropkicks him outside, Kurt's head bonks the um... "steel chairs."
- Benoit's here to kill Cena. DQ loss for Angle. And here's Rey (who looks awesome in black) to dispatch Benoit. And here's Eddie to titl-a-whirl back break Rey. And here's Edge to faceplane Eddie and spear a recovering Angle. Nice setup to the later match of this show.

We return to Marc Loyd (tool) walking up to Benoit and Guerrero. Benoit had the Rock tapping, ese vato, and he's the master of submission. Angle: "Peep this holmes..." HA! Angle is the submission master around here, PAL! Benoit explains how Cena had Angle counted oht. Chris and Eddie came to SD for competition. Angle will give Benoit some freakin' competition, PAL. Eddie suggests the three of them verses Edge, Misterio and Cena.

OH, TESITFY!

Heaven (w/ Hell) vs. Mark Henry (who can lift stuff)
- Mark Henry's body splash through the ropes = SCARY.
- Mark Henry can dunk. And so can Tazz. (pfft)
- Sign: "People's Elbow" with a Bull's Eye. Rock is in Australia right now, folks.
- D-Von stomping on Henry's chest = Ouchie. But Henry probably didn't feel it since he is the World Strongest Man. Or maybe he's just a fatass who can lift stuff, I dunno....
- Henry thinks he's Edge and hits D-Von with a flapjack. Now he thinks he's Booker and hits D-Von with an (ugly) leg lariat. Now he thinks he's Davey Boy and hits D-Von with a running powerslam. Goodbye, D-Von. Well, at least it seems Henry is trying new moves. When was the last time Henry won a match before this show?
- Batista attacks. Rikishi saves the day - he wants Batista.
- Sign: "Jake Roberts 4 Life"
- "D-Von, let him go!" So we get...

Rikishi (w/ his fat ass) v. Hell (w/ Heaven)
- Full nelson slam by Batista. And somewhere in Canada, a grizzly is cursing Batista for stealing Test's move.
- Out of the corner and Rikishi sells a sick clothesline with a little convulsing.
- Rikishi tries the ass-valanche but Batista kicks said ass. About time someone did. D-Von goes to strike the prone Rikishi but nails Batista instead. Superkick, goodbye.
- BREAKUP TEASE! BREAKUP TEASE!
- Both of these matches were pretty subpar so I guess we can look forward to Henry/Rikishi vs. D-Von/Batista next week.

We come to see Brock and a (too giddy) Heyman about to consult with Hogan. Heyman thinks it's a bad idea. Break.

The Summerslam spot with the Rock = Awesome, awesome, awesome.

Brock questions Hogan wanting to go through with this and verbally fellates himself. Hogan talks Brock into putting his title shot on the line. Heyman: "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO?!?!?" Brock takes offense to Heyman's lack of confidence. Well, that segment did what it was supposed to do. Whoops, we segue into a catfight between Torrie and Nidia. Jamie Knoble and Billy Kidman get involved to set up the IG tag match later.

AGD v. Super 3 Count
- Chuck Palumbo is REALLY into this gimmick. He is just being so laughably weird. :)
- Sign: "Get the F Back!" I agree.
- What's up with those bellbottoms Shannon Moore has there? Nice to see him again, BTW. You know... they may as well make him a superhero also.
- Hurricane poses. Palumbo laughs. And so do I. :)
- Hurricane's Shining Wizard is so cool.
- This match is pretty cool, I must say.
- Sign: "Whassup Wit Dat?!"
- Hurricane trying to double chokeslam the AGD and ends up getting flapjacked. HA! Helms is great. :)
- Has Billy Gunn EVER hit that "Stinger Splash"?
- Sweet neckbreaker by Moore there. Shannon Moore showing he's an honorary Hardy by hitting the Whisper in the Wind on Palumbo. But walks right into Billy Gunn's "One and Only" (cobra clutch slam).
- Holy crap - Hurri-chokeslam on Gunn. That makes me smile for more than one reason. :)
- Somersault plancha on Rico = Nice.
- Moore tries a 'rana, Palumbo catches him - they set up for "Code Red" (or the AGDevice as I like to call it). Moore rolls up Palumbo causing Gunn to miss the clothesline. Goodbye, Chuck. NICE finish to a cool match.

We go to the back where Cena bitches to Edge about Benoit crossfacing him (while about 12 of Cena's veins pop out of his neck) and Rey's in the background doing some pullups. Edge wants to make the future now since he's got beef with all three. Rey interrupts Edge saying he's got Kurt tonight. Uh... yeah! :)

Kane will be back soon. 'Bout damn time, too.

Meanwhile, Heyman (unsuccessfully) tries to talk Steph out of Brock title shot being on the line. 55 minutes of show has passed and this is the first time we see Steph. Hopefully this is a trend.

You Think You Know Me, Sting Jr. (still in Carolina Blue) and R.E.Y Mysterio, here we go vs. All Year Angle, The Smark Deity (IC Champion) and The Hardys' Idol

- Sign: "Cena Is Ruthless" Too bad he ain't much else yet.
- Sign: "Latino Lawn Service 1-888-Mullet" HA! That's the sign of the night right there :)
- Going to break and missing the opening moments of the match = 0.3 Cole. We return to Angle beating up Edge.
- Sign: "Respect (?) Benoit". OK. ;)
- Edge with a belly-to-belly. Cole: "Nice throw by Edge." Say it with me, Cole. Sooo-plex. Sooo-plex. Gawd Almighty....
- Benoit in to get flapjacked. Edge tags out to Rey. So of course, Benoit proceeds to kill Rey.
- Rey reverses the Electric Chair into a Rana. Sweet.
- Benoit tags out to Eddie. Eddie vs. Rey. 1997 Reunion!!! Tazz defines Latino Heat as being Latin, having a temper and RUTHLESS AGGRESSION (which he's contractually obligated to say 35 times a show).
- Eddie works the left arm. Rey gets out of it by running the rops and hitting Eddie with a leg scissors. Rey tags to Cena. Aww... :( MORE EDDIE v. REY! MORE EDDIE v. REY! :)
- Cena with an UGH-ly hiptoss there. Though I think Eddie jumped a bit too early himself.
- Cena will be the face in peril for this match. Pay yer dues, Johnny.
- Benoit's snap suplex = always a thing of beauty.
- Angle with a short clothesline on Cena and tells the stupid son of a bitch to shut up. :)
- Whiplash Slam by Angle. I think that's what it's called. Move check, please.
- Tag to Eddie who hits that awesome slingshot senton on Cena.
- Cole: "Every blow means something and it HURTS!" 0.8 Cole. Holy crap - is he stupid.
- Crowd: "Eddie sucks!" Kawshen: "No he doesn't!" :)
- Benoit in to kill Cena some more. Benoit talking to Cena now - giving Cena a short lecture on why smarky smarks worship and salivate at the sight of his godlike presence and existance (before they ultimately turn against him) - before dropping Cena with a right.
- In the corner... CHOP! Ow. Good sell by Cena too.
- Eddie in now. Going to the top - Rey distracts unsuccessfully - but giving enough time for Cena to give a superplex.
- Neat finish here: Hot tag to Edge. Spear to Benoit. Spear to Eddie. Spear to Angle. Benoit with a Release German on Edge. Rey counters a Benoit Wheelbarrow Suplex into a Bulldog. Eddie catches Rey with a Brainbuster. Cena catches Eddie with a ProtoBomb. Angle catches Cena with the Olympic Slam. Rey hits a celebrating Angle with the 619 (which Angle oversells). Rey off the ropes with the West Coast Pop (the rana into pin). Rey pins Angle. Edge was the legal man, by the way. Angle will throw a tantrum after the match.
- AWESOME match. No question about it. Meanwhile, incensed smarks riot. Angle jobbed to Rey! He's being held down! uh... by HHH! Yeah, that's it!

Kurt is taken aback by the fact that he was pinned by a 12 year old illegal immigrant. Marc Loyd continues to be a naive tool. Gotta love him. Angle threatens to break the ankle of course.

Jamie Noble, boy! (CruiserChamp) and Nidia (Ew.) vs. Billy Kidman and Torrie Wilson (w/ clothes suprisingly)
- Nidia's first match. About time. She didn't win Tough Enough to be a trashy valet.
- Kidman with a short powerbomb. Nidia kicks Kidman in the back.
- Kidman goes to spank Nidia and Noble dropkicks him in the head. She probably would've liked that anyway.
- Nidia goes for a slap. Kidman blocks and tags to Torrie who does spank Nidia.
- Slingshot plancha to Noble by Kidman gets nothing.
- Russian legsweep by Torrie. Irish whip. Noble grabs the leg allowing Nidia to roll up and pin Torrie (w/ heelish tights grabbing).
- Well, this was a bit useless. But if it sets up a Noble/Kidman rematch then I'm all for it.

Dawn has papers for Steph. Stacy says Steph ain't here. Break. There's a movie out named "Undisputed". Shill for Jericho's CD. Back from break. Stacy tells Steph she sent Dawn to find her. Out emerges Bischoff from the behind the plant and Stacy hands over the papers. Um, yeah, ANYWAY...

Loyd interviews Hogan. Brock maybe 25 but Hogan is 29 (in 1983). Hogan, like your typical old man, continues to ramble on about nothing and put himself over.

The Next Big King vs. Ol' Ketchup and Mustard
- Sign: "Blockhead Lesner" Heheh. Brock Lesnar = Charlie Brown. I should use that. :D
- And here's Hogan to geezer down to the ring and give me a typing break. Whoops never mind, here's another commercial break.
- Staredown. Lockup. Nothing. Lockup. Brock tosses Hogan and smiles. Another go behind and some club blows to Hogan.
- Brock celebrates the beatdown and of course Hogan no sells. Hogan comes back and Hogan clotheslines him over the top. Brock shows "shock."
- Heyman distracts while Brock grabs the legs and rinposts Hogan three times. Brock is smiling again. Oh, happy day.
- Heyman: "Take him out, Brock! Finish him! He's different!" He's ANCIENT! ;)
- Crowd boos (a little) so Brock eggs them on. Brock stomps and then eggs the crowd even more. Now, why doesn't he do that more often? Maybe the people will care about him more.
- While Brock cleans up the table, Hogan no-sells the beating again and whips Brock into the ringpost.
- Hogan on the second rope for the 10 punch countered into a power bomb. And ANOTHER no-sell by Hogan. Hulk Up Time, "YOU!", Big Boot. Brock no-sells and pops up. Browser Refresh blocked. Punches, Boot, (punch to Paul), Legdrop. Brock kicks out. Hogan shocked.
- Another Hulk Up. And Brock, being a heel, begs off. More Punches and another boot. Heyman distracts which leads to the Browser Refresh. No cover.
- Brock with the Next Big Bearhug which ends Hogan. Hogan has "internal injuries". Hogan lost by submission again. When was the last time a match won with a bearhug?
- Brock leaves and then comes back to chair Hogan. Heyman: "Brock! You're gonna kill 'im!!!" Hogan blades and Brock... you guessed it... smiles. Brock comes back one more time to rub his blood on his chest. Heyman: "Enough!" End show.
- You know if Lesnar doesn't get over from this - I have no idea what will.
- This match did what it was supposed to do: put Brock over as a very real threat to the Rock's Unified World Title reign since he'll do anything possible. Can't really laud this match or anything.

All in all, a great show. Not as good as the last two SD but it certainly sets up some scenarios for Summerslam and next week's show. Though I am annoyed by them going to break before the start of and during the matches lately. Seems like we might have Angle v. Rey and Edge v. Benoit added to the card as well. And Hogan surprisingly has nothing to do. Brock destroying him tonight makes me think Hogan will play a role in the Unified World Title Match somehow.

SD continues to be good as does what it's supposed to do. So there you go. Bye.