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WWF/E SmackDown! - August 1, 2002

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The score so far in the roster stealing after tonight's show:
Raw - 5 (Hunter Hearst-Helmsley, Chris Jericho, Lance Storm, Christian and Test)
SD - 3 (Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, Brock Lesnar)

As much as I hate the fact that there's 5 guys I like on Raw now and in exchange I get 2 guys I like and one I'm indifferent about, I'll just carry on.

No Steph Headroom or SD pyro this week. Why is HHH still in the SD intro?

R.E.Y. Mysterio (w/ awesome entrance and freaky contacts) vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri (w/o Nidia or Noble)
- Today's mask looks kinda smallish today. I was wondering if it'd somehow fall off. And this is only his 2nd show and he has a T-shirt already.
- A look back at that insane dive off the cage.
- I'm already sick of that "celebrated luchador" line from Cole.
- Tajiri seems to be stiffing Rey. That clothesline and the kick looked way sick.
- Sign: "Lay the Smackdown on your candyass". Rock-ism circa '98.
- OK - another move check, please. What was that surfboard, backslide looking... thing.... Tajiri just did???
- Another funny face by Tajiri and another sick kick on Rey.
- Ringpost Bow and Arrow = DAMN. Obviously Tazz is the one who calls the move since Cole can only say "Look at this."
- Tree of Woe Kick = Ouch Ouch OUCH! I put this in slo-mo and Tajiri's foot connected with Rey's head (or it's a damn good camera angle). I think he's stiffing Rey. :)
- Another bow and arrow. And they say CruiserMatches are all spots, no psychology. ;)
- Torrito. Yeah, you're REALLY cool, Cole. Nice tornado DDT by Rey.
- SICK Powerbomb by Tajiri. He is STIFFING Rey. Rey selling the beatdown by dropping was a nice touch.
- 619 by Rey. Chavo sold it much better, IMO.
- Look on Rey's face after the pin = SCARY. Must've been a full moon on Tuesday. I wish I had video capture stuff.
- Awesome match as if it needs to be said.

Angle and his camo out for the longish promo while the Tarheels sing "You Suck."
- Kurt apologizes for scaring SD viewers last week with the Raw jump threat.
- God, "What?" still lives.
- "If I were no longer on the show, there would be no reason to watch! Honesty!" Hey, hey! Sit down and stop clapping, you guys. :)
- Angle then segues into dissing Brock. "The Next Big Thing. Former NCAA Champion. Whoopity-damn-doo! I've been winning NCAA Championships back when you were playing Hungry Freakin' Hippos, buster!" LOL!!!! Kurt is THE MAN. :)
- Where are YOUR gold medals, Brock? Huh???? :)
- Kurt calls Brock out but gets Hogan instead who proceeds to "gah","waah" and "blah".
- Hogan proceeds to steal Jericho's line and adds a "brother" to it.
- Hogan wants Brock for the Browser Refresh last week.
- Angle: "What are you gonna do? Challenge him in a game of shuffleboard?!" You know... my sides are starting to hurt from Kurt's hilarious insults. :)
- Angle challenges Hogan and they meet nose-to-nose. Here comes pure, wholesome, babyface Steph to put over SD and say the winner between them will meet Brock on the next SD.
- Neat interview. I think they're going to have a challenge trying to turn Angle face again though.

Steph sees Eric. Steph gets mad. Steph has nice peaches (albeit fake ones). Steph throws Eric out.

The Next Big King vs. Mark Henry (who can lift stuff)
- Look at this neo-Na... uh, no, I said I wasn't gonna go there anymore. ;)
- Short, pointless, Mr. Obvious Interview from Mark Henry.
- Shoulderblock by Brock - no sale.
- Henry: "Nope. Try again." Brock runs to the... PSYCHE!!!! Clothesline to Henry the dumbass. HA! Cool sequence there. :)
- Suplex by Brock blocked reversed into a vertical by Henry. He can lift stuff.
- There's that sick, sick, SICK bodysplash thing through the ropes by Henry over Brock's back.
- Overhead belly to belly by Brock = Neat. But he can't pull off a SIMPLE suplex????
- Browser Refresh. Goodbye, Mark. The fans don't seem to care very much.
- This match was all about showcasing Brock's cool power moves if nothing more. I'd like to see him in the ring with someone who DOESN'T suck though. Brock's still just a plain vanilla big man with some cool power moves. Nothing much else. Now that I've seen this guy - I'm slightly less indifferent towards him - leaning towards like. The spot with the fake rope run/clothesline was hilarious, though.

And now - it's time to play FULL CIRCLE SEGUE!
- Brock meets up with Hogan. He hopes he wins, brother.
- Segue #1: Brock and Paul walk past the AGD (who are bitching each other out) and Rico shows up. Palumbo's pissed that the Tag Titles are Raw-exclusive now. You're not the only one, Chuck.
- Break up tease! Rico tries to stop the arguments. "There's no greater tag team than Billy and Chuck!" There's no OTHER tag team BESIDES Billy and Chuck.
- Gunn carried Palumbo, y'know. Shut up, Billy. :)
- Segue #2: Out comes John Cena from the nearby room to laugh in Rico's face about the AGD's problems.
- Rico comments on Cena's current appearance while exploiting his male stylist gimmick. Cena: "What is that - Liberace meets the Wolfman?" and howls. He IS Sting Jr.!
- Rico tries an AG Slap - blocked. Cena Slap - PSYCHE! - Rico flinches anyway. Pretty funny stuff.
- Segue #3: Rico marches off in a AG Huff and bumps into Angle. "Get out of my freakin' way! What the hell's wrong with you?" Do you REALLY need to ask, Kurt? :)
- Segue #4: Angle runs into Brock. Angle is Brock's little buddy, y'know. Brock hope he wins. Angle heads off to the ring and we end where we started. FULL CIRCLE SEGMENT.
- I admit that was a really neat segment there. I don't think I've seen that before.
- Another Lesnar/Angle feud tease. Well, we know what'll be the Next Big Feud. Hopefully Lesnar won't be the champ. I also have this inkling that these two will end up allied with Heyman managing both. We'll see....

All Year Angle (© Kurt @ Vengeance) vs. Ol' Ketchup and Mustard
- Of course we must burn at least a minute or two for Hogan to geezer down to the ring and singalong with Jimmy Hendrix.
- Two collar-and-elbow tie-ups = (obviously) two shove offs by Hogan.
- It's really painful to see Angle's sell Hogan's weak offense. Kudos to Kurt for at least TRYING to make it look halfway decent.
- Angle Hiplock. Hogan blocks. "No. Try again." Another block. "No way." Another block and then countered into a Hogan hiplock. Fun little sequence there.
- Head-into-turnbuckle countalong with a right at 10.
- Hm. This match is pretty good. I didn't s
- CALL THE DAMN MATCH, COLE!!!!! Geez. We don't need a Steph/Bischoff update right now.
- Angle with the side headlock. And they do the old-school "Heel Puts Feet on Ropes for Extra Leverage and takes them off right before the ref sees it." spot. I like that spot along with the one using the Abdominal Stretch/Heel Grabs Rope.
- Babyface resthold comeback by Hogan. Side suplex. No sale. Vintage Hogan.
- Angle catches the Immortal Boot and tries for the Ankle Lock which Hogan kicks out of.
- Immortal Boot connects this time. Cole: "Boot to the Face! Boot to the Chin!" Boot to the chest. Call that 0.2 Cole.
- Trying for the Immortal Legdrop - Angle pops up and gives him the Olympic Slam (or should I say Olympic Side Suplex).
- Ankle Lock on Hogan. Hogan kicks out sending Angle into the ref.
- Angle gets the chair - Immortal Boot to the chair. Cole and Tazz: "Chair off the skull!" "Backfire!" "Chair off the skull!" "Backfire!" Parrots. :)
- Immortal Legdrop connects - ref is out.
- Here's Brock to distract Hogan. Chairshot by Angle. Whoops - Angle's busted. Hogan wins.
- Angle begging and pleading the ref not to DQ him = CLASSIC.
- Angle continues to stop. Hulk-Up Time. I think you know the sequence after this.
- Another Immortal Legdrop try. Trip up by Brock. Another Browser Refresh for Hogan. Brock seems to have a gash behind his right shoulder.
- Neat match here also.

Rikishi (w/ his new T-Shirt and giant, dimply ass) vs. Heaven (w/ Hell)
- I noticed the ass part of Rikishi's T-Shirt has been cut off. I guess the UPN execs weren't fond of it. Hell - who would be?
- I've noticed Batista has only been in ONE match so far on SD. Not one singles match yet. I guess he's being benched for shutting Randy Orton's lights out at that house show.
- Trip up attempt by Batista. D-Von runs at Rikishi and ends up taking a VERY UGLY spill over the top and almost missing Batista completely.
- D-Von hits Rikishi with a legdrop on the back of the head. Cole: "D-Von delivers the blow across the back of the head." 0.5 Cole. It's called a legdrop, Cole! LEG. DROP. Ugh.
- D-Von peeling off the steel barricade padding and tossing Rikishi into it = Cool spot there.
- Rikishi's shirt is coming off.
- Elbow by D-Von. No "Who's the man?" this time.
- HOMOEROTIC MOMENT OF THE NIGHT: Wazzup Flying Headbutt misses as Rikishi raises his legs up with D-Von's head flying into Rikishi's groin near the piehole area. Rikishi drops the legs and starts girating as if he's about to have an orgasm. How ironic a guy with a preacher gimmick be involved in a spot like this.
- Tazz is still laughing as Rikishi hits the Rumpshakin' Banzai Drop for the three.
- Goes for a considerably less homoerotic Stinkface - but not before Batista spinebusts him down and D-Von hits the headbutt.
- I'll use the smarky scapegoat. This match was there.

Steph scolds Stacy for letting Eric in. Thanks for coming, Stacy.

It's the CruiserChamp, Jamie Noble, boy! Along with Nidia who I still do not find attractive.
- Sign: "Nidia = Pot Bellied Pig"
- Noble doesn't like the fact that they're not treated like royalty.
- Noble and Nidia head to the commentating table. They turn to Cole since Tazz is a street thug kinda fella.
- Noble: "Michael Cole - he's the announcer. He talks about the matches and makes the wrestlers look good and all that stuff." Cole: "Right..." Me: "WRONG!" Have you been watching this show the last three years, Jamie? :)
- Noble accuses Cole of scoping out Nidia. Noble has Nidia give Cole some sugars - prompting her to crawl over the desk and onto Cole's lap to begin molesting him.
- Noble: "You like that, boy?!" Cole: "No, I don't like it!" Shut up, Cole. Liar. :)
- Nidia process to shove her tongue (with the tongue ring) down Cole's throat. Meanwhile, Tazz is cracking up and I don't blame him. Noble stops Nidia since he notices the Carolina perverts are enjoying it too much.
- Noble promises to whore Nidia to Cole some more if he puts him over. Nidia and Noble proceed to make out. Tazz: "You just made out with Noble, Cole!" Cole proceeds to blame Tazz as if he did something wrong.
- I must say Nidia is REALLY into this Trailer Trash Freak character of hers. I wonder if she'll be in a match soon though - she didn't win Tough Enough just to be a ring rat.

Steph catches Billy Kidman, Hardcore Holly and Mike Awesome (!!!) watching Raw (Shawn's head through the car). No more Raw for SD guys says Steph.

Fozzy Ad. Stick to wrestling, Jericho. ;)

Sting Jr. (in CAROLINA BLUE) vs. The AG Stylist
- Who's more light in the loafers: Rico or Cena with those baby blue trunks? :)
- Cole shills as usual. And shows how white he is by pronouncing Martin Lawrence's movie "Runtledat."
- Rico spits at Cena. Ref holds back Cena allowing Rico to kick him in the head.
- Rico and those "educated feet" (© JR). That kick he does jumping off the second rope is cool.
- Rico's stepover armbar into a back kick = REALLY COOL.
- Cena with a ProtoSpinebuster.
- Rico misses the AG Moonsault.
- Nice dropkick by Rico to counter the flying forearm.
- Cena pins Rico after what I think is the ProtoPlex.
- Cena comes back and give Rico the CenaSlap. The AGD attack and give Cena the AGDevice.
- Rico's kicks are pretty cool. Match was OK.

The Rock vs. Edge next. Eric shows up and pays off a fan a lot of greenbacks for a ringside seat.
- Confidential: The Fall of WCW. Forget Confidential. Talk to Meltzer - he knows all about it. :)
- Bischoff starting a watch Raw chant. I read they were chanting "Raw sucks."
- Steph comes out to put over Eric's cunning and reveals her Main Event Change. It's now The Rock AND Edge teaming up against Steph's three new acquisitions: Eddie Guerrero, Chris Benoit and the Intercontinental Title.
- Eric: "You bitch!"
- Chris Benoit's new Titantron video is AWESOME. Wish he kept the old music. Not that this remix isn't good.
- Tazz mentioning it not being the first time Benoit and Guerrero walked out on Bischoff = COOL.
- Steph blows him a kiss, Eric jumps the rail, beats up a guard before getting ejected. He Will Knock Her Out.

The Smark Deity (IC Champion) and The Hardys' Idol vs. The Rock (Unified World Champion) and The Edge
- Eddie jumps Rock during his pose. Eddie seems to be in TURBO mode tonight.
- Ugly Samoan Drop by Rock there.
- Belly to Belly for Benoit.
- Eddie distracts Rock and says something in Spanish. They HAVE to reunite him and Chavo. THEY HAVE TO.
- Benoit back suplexes Rock. Rock sells by holding his lower back. Cole: "Rock landing on the top of his back." 0.3 Cole.
- Benoit is looking at his hand. Crippleroonie? Nah. :)
- Tazz caught himself saying Benoit was from Calgary. Cole wouldn't have. :)
- Benoit with the chops on Rock. Rock of course sells them like someone is slashing his sternum with a sword.
- Eddie's step and turn on your face move = always cool.
- Edge in now. Spears for Benoit and Guerrero. If this leads to Edge facing Benoit at Summerslam = no complaints from me at all.
- Tazz and Cole says Jericho ran to Raw to elude Edge.
- Edge is the "face in peril" for this match of course.
- Edge fights out - Benoit drop toe-hold for Eddie to hit that slingshot senton. Tazz: "Flying hilo." Move check please - I'm not versed in lucha as you know. Edge took that sucker full brunt too.
- Eddie is in definite turbo mode tonight. ("Roid rage!") I ain't going there. ;)
- Eddie with an Indian Deathlock with the knee in the back. I've always liked leglock submission holds. Edge powers out completely with a goofy face.
- Triple German Suplexes by Benoit to Edge. Edge taking man-sized bumps here.
- Single leg Liontamer by Benoit with the knee in Edge's head. Notice I said LIONTAMER not Walls of Jericho or Boston Crab. Edge powers out.
- Eddie with the Vertical Suplex into the (kinda) Brainbuster = Awesome. Tazz taking note of how Eddie barred Edge's arm to prevent from raising his shoulder = also awesome.
- Benoit and Guerrero trying for the Double Superplex. Edge counters with a Front Superplex on Guerrero onto the fallen Benoit. Neat spot.
- Edge VISIBLY overshoots the Sunset Flip from the top. Eddie and the camera angles saved that one.
- Edge countering the 2nd rope punches by Eddie with a sit-out powerbomb. I've always liked that spot there.
- Rock tagged in for the well rested babyface domination sequence that's standard in tag matches.
- Edge with the spear on Eddie but misses Benoit and goes into the post - out of the ring - and out of the rest of the show.
- Spinebuster of Benoit and a running Rockbottom for Eddie.
- Setting up the Rockbottom for Benoit when Brock Lesnar shows up (again!) with a chair to distract. Crippler Crossface in the middle. Brock wants Rock to tap. Rock is looking right at a smiling Brock, eyes bugged out. He ain't tapping. Brock got down to the ring rather quickly. Rock still isn't tapping and Brock isn't smiling anymore. Brock: "Come on. Come on!" Rock finally taps. IC Champ Benoit made World Champ Rock submit.
- Brew put Rock tapping here best: It wasn't just that the Rock tapped, it was the WAY he tapped. It wasn't the frantic OH MY GOD STOP THE PAIN tap, it was a slow, resigned-to-my-fate, "I have to give up" tap. One could make the argument that The Rock is better than anybody else in the WWE at telling an in-ring story. Brew may be a mark for a rabbit but he knows what he's talking about 99% of the time. :)
- Awesome match. Rock did his part, Edge did his role (getting his ass kicked) and Benoit and Guerrero did theirs (being dominant heels). And Brock and Rock still have not touched each other.
- Brock backs up the ramp nodding his head in approval only to be chairshot by Hogan from behind. Two more chairshots for Brock and the show ends.

Outside of that terrible D-Von/Rikishi match - this was yet another awesome show. Brock vs. Hogan next week. Once again, awesome show.

Though I'll miss the other Chris, Test, Christian and Lance since I have no cable - welcome to Smackdown and my TV, Chris and Eddie. :)

So there you go.