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WWF/E SmackDown! - May 23, 2002

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I miss the Rock. I really do.

Anyway - onto SD!

HHH v. Stoneface: Hunter's curtain-jerking and for once it's in a match and it's his OPPONENT doing the talking. Why they won't let Stoneface speak more often is beyond my comprehension. Match was really good. Stoneface has the same trouble RVD has with throwing realistic punches. I noticed HHH bladed yet again - to restablish "reopening the cut". I was wondering why they were zooming in on Lance so much. Hey, also, HHH CHEATS TO WIN~! But since HHH is a face, Cole condones it, y'know.

Stupid Cole Quote #1: "You have to give a 'big-up' to Triple H...."

Christian Karaoke to Angle's Theme = CLASSIC.
"Baldy - Handsome - In A - Manly Way". Oh, man....

Test and Stacey... hmm. Whatever. Next.

Kurt Angle with Toupee and the Rick Steiner Earguards (that's what they call that thing, right?) = AWESOME. I'm not sure what the point of the stuff with Maven was, though. I can see why they're looking to give Maven a personality but it was like he came off like a cross between a hick and a wannabe Rock. Nice to see Christian having something to do also - despite being Angle's flunky more or less.

Test v. Randy Orton: This was pretty good. I can't stand the way they jacked up Test's music. I'm starting to dig Randy Orton. That sequence they did with all those reversals was pretty sweet - though the one with the full nelson slam reversal took too long. Test's new finisher = SICK. Cole, with his vast array of knowledge of maneuvers and holds, obviously calls it "Oh My God." I'll call it the Test Cutter or something. I dunno. By any other name - it still looked pretty sick.

WWF/E Confidental starring Mean Gene - and HBK is the first guest. Hopefully I'll get to see that. From the looks of this - this is gonna be a smark show or something.

The 4-time, 4-time WWF/E World Champion Undertaker: Something I realized when I wrote that, of UT's 4 World Title reigns - he only had ONE as a face and ironically - that was also his LONGEST reign as World Champ. I noticed that UT's head is bigger than the belt's front plate. Great that they showed RVD almost winning the Unified World Title also. Anyway, "I killed Hulkamania - if that's OK with you" was the basis of this whole interview so let's move on.

Rico, a Tag Title and the AGD. Man - how the mighty Tag Team Titles have fallen. What a shame. See - THIS is why the AGD should have been on both shows. I like Rikishi and all - but putting the tag titles on him and Rico is just well... DUMB.

Mark Henry calling Chris Jericho "Sugar Britches" = HIGHLY DISTURBING. Oh, they have a match later. Nice to see Faarooq again.

Edge/Maven v. Kurt Angle/Christian: Cole and Tazz are shilling more Hogan nostalgia. Kurt Angle's singlet is well... um, interesting. OK, he has a Superman-esque logo on the chest and the legs have GLITTER. I'm not joking. That with the Rick Steiner Earguards/Toupee combo make him look a tad light in the loafers. At least he's back to wearing the white "ANGLE" boots - I dig those. The match was pretty cool though. Christian sells Edge's spear better than anyone. I don't mind that Maven pinned Christian clean TOO MUCH though.

Rev. Dr. D-Von Dudley v. Tag Team Champ Rikishi: Hey - D-Von's got new music - and it isn't too bad. Deacon Leviathan/Bautista/Whatever is still scary looking. Sign: "D-Von! Get the Bible!" D-Von catching himself saying "hell" and replacing it with "heck" = pretty funny. D-Von escaping after almost getting sat on and then running to the corner to say a quick prayer = also funny. Well just that and that spinebuster the Deacon delivered to Rikishi was all that there with this match. Nothing to write home about really.

Hurricane is awesome - that's all that needs to be said. He's all quoting He-Man and stuff now. The clue to the note passer is a bag of Beef Jerky.... well, if it's not Rey - it's probably Nova.

Stoneface setting up HHH to get the Boot of Death from Test = cool. You know - I would be excited about the prospects of a LEGIT Test-HHH feud except that it should've happened more than 2 years ago.

Hurricane and New Crusierweight Title Belt v. Chavo Guerrero Jr.: Is it just me or does the new Cruiserweight Title look noticeably BIGGER than the Unified World Title? Chavo coming out to Eddie's WCW theme = AWESOME. I've always liked that tune and I'm happy they brought it back. Match was OK - but a bit on the formulaic side - but Hurricane's heroic posing makes up for it. Chavo hit Hurricane with a sick-looking "Sidewalk Slam/Tombstone". Hurricane's new finisher thankfully isn't the Hurri-Chokeslam but a Buff Blockbuster now. Cole: "The Overcast." Eh - whatever.

Vince and Stacy have a segment that doesn't involve boinking each other. It's about damn time too.

Stupid Cole Quote #2: "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE." - shilling that e-ware thing.

Chris Jericho v. Mark Henry: Boy - Jericho was a mess. Practically half of his face was crimson after the match. I don't dig the fact that Jericho couldn't beat him cleanly though - but it's understandable from a psychology standpoint if you think about it. He was in the CELL with HHH "4 days ago" and is still hurting from that match. This match was standard "Big strong guy vs. much smaller (injured) guy" stuff. Funny part in the match was when Henry stepped onto Jericho's chest to go climb the ropes for the Vaderbomb attempt and Jericho's voice went up about 4 octaves. [EDIT] That move where Henry leaps through the ropes over the top of the guy's neck is downright SICK and SCARY. I hope and pray that he never blows that spot. I can't remember what it's called but it's the move Nash does but Henry actually goes all the way through the ropes.

Hulk Hogan "Retirement": Up until Vince and UT came out - that had to have been 100% shoot. I don't have much to say since it's obvious that the sheep were cheering him for an extended period of time. All I'll say is that I see Hogan v. Vince at KOTR in Hogan's final match.

I enjoyed this show. It was pretty good. My only beef is that they made no mention or any sort of progress towards the King of the Ring tourney either here nor on Raw. Hopefully - they'll get it started on Raw.

Have I mentioned that I miss the Rock?