WWF/E SmackDown! - May 9, 2002

- Opening segment was just there. I see the DX HHH paid another visit tonight complete with phallic humor. Hey, HHH shaved his beard - he looks less caveman-ish w/o it. Though, it was a nice prelude to HHH getting his ass kicked for virtually the entire night. 6-1 beatdown, jobbing to D-Von, and getting head trauma from Jericho and busted open three times. I still would like LESS Vince, though. Jericho/HHH Hell In The Cell? At JD? I'd prefer it if it was at King of the Ring, but, hey. I'm pretty certain Jericho's taking the "BIG BUMP."

- Tajiri/Hurricane was OK - not as good as their previous matches. I noticed Chimel is just saying the acronym and not the whole "World Wrestling Entertainment" thing. I can't believe Cole and Tazz gave mentioned to that other WWF. Well, now that Torrie's took the (according to Cole) "Offensive, Degrading" Geisha off - now what?

- The Hurricane/Snow segment was great. Mr. Helms, switch to Hurri-Decaf, bro. Hey, he finally got a Hurri-T-shirt. Snow giving references to meds and saying how people thought he was weird talking to the Head = CLASSIC.

- Test/Mark Henry = eh. Whatever. Mark's a strong dude. We get it. He's strong and he's got a cool (stock music) theme - but that's about it.
Cole: "He's a doubting Test - like a doubting Thomas."

- Christian and Kurt should have more vignettes together. He plays that "snot-nose little brother" role just great.

- Rico and the AGD interview. Oy.
Billy Gunn: "I know b/c you have that smile on your face.... Wipe it off before I wipe that smile off for you permanently!" Um, huh? I actually had to transcribe that to make any sense of what he said there.
Yep, Chuck Palumbo still has that BAH-ston accent. "Listen whoevah you ah...." I think Chuck had something in his eyes he was blinking and straining quite a bit.

- D-Von/HHH = not bad. Jericho Head Trauma #2.
Leviathan is now "Deacon Bautista"? I dunno about that one. Either way - he is really scary looking. I was really hoping to see another "Jesse Jackson fears D-Von" sign. That was CLASSIC. I read in some spoilers that there was a "D-Von touched me" chant. COLD. D-Von should ditch that priest collar, though. He doesn't need it.

- It looks like Angle chipped his tooth. Anyway - Bald Edge = YIKES. He looks like a Neo-Nazi Skinhead. Bald Angle = well... actually the baldie would actually work for Kurt. It didn't look too bad - he had that George Costanza vibe going there. But Edge... creepy. Now that the morbid curiosity of Bald Edge is gone thanks to modern day technology - I'm hoping Angle LOSES now.
And I like how Cole was forcing himself to laugh: "HA-HA-HA-HA!"

- Out comes Hogan to put over bald people. You know - it's cool that they're milking this Nostalgia Wave with Hogan - but I think they've milked as much as necessary. Take the Unified World Title off of him, please.

- "What?": The Video definitely has my interest.

- AGD and Rico v. Maven/Snow/Rikishi was a little sloppy side. Watchable but sloppy. Rikishi almost tripped over Billy. Maven looked a bit LOST in there also. Side note: I read in spoilers at the Torch (I think) that the AGD got some "faggot" chants. Damn.

- Randy Orton needs mic skills, STAT. He even made Stoneface sound like he had a pulse. I'm wondering if Stoneface was shooting about being relegating to placing bets on Mark Henry rolling up the frying pan. As for the match, that spot where they both fell off the top rope was a bit scary looking. Especially since earlier, Lance's foot looked like it was slipping off the rope. Does Stoneface always wear Adidas? Oh, and the Single-Leg Boston Crab is now the "Straightshooter"? Bret Hart Tribute, perhaps? I dunno - I think Stoneface can pull out a much better submission hold than that. Orton's got a sweet crossbody block though. Holly pulling the ropes back with his foot = GOLD. I'm wondering what the Val Venis run-in was for. If we get Val/Orton v. Storm/Holly at JD - it'll just be another reason to get it.

- Edge-amania's running wild, brother. Adam Copeland is one weird dude. I have no further comment on this since I was just laughing my ass off at the sight of this. I still think Kane-amania with all of his Kane-anites is a little cooler.

- Main Event was just OK. Hogan really brought it down despite it having Edge, Angle AND Jericho. When Hogan was in - the match went in literal slow motion. And it's pretty painful to see Angle and Jericho sell for this guy. Psycho HHH coming out with Mr. Sledgy and clobbering everything in sight (even Hogan) = AWESOME. But it led to Jericho Head Trauma #3. Jericho with the foot pin over bloody HHH = wow.

Signs of the night:
- "Hulk STILL Sucks"
- The Maven sign with the eyebrows. HA!
- "Billy and Chuck: Not that there's ANYTHING wrong with that" (right behind the Maven sign)

Well, this show did what it was supposed to. Set up the PPV, make Jericho look strong (HHH got his ass kicked virtually night). Pretty good show.